Are you mentally prepared for xXx 4?
Well, ready or not, it sounds like it’s headed our way, so start thinking of
what renegade shit you’d like to see Vin Diesel do now that we’ve watched him
ski through a jungle.
Variety reports that H Collective plans to produce and
finance a handful of movies over the course of the next four years, and one of
them is a sequel to xXx: Return of Xander Cage. That’s all
the information there is to know.
No one was particularly clamoring for more extreme-sports-themed
spy capers, but that didn’t stop xXx: Return of Xander Cage
from making almost $350 million worldwide. It’s dumb as hell, but it’s also a
total blast, and if there’s one thing we know it’s that the world loves
watching Vin Diesel do crazy shit and defy the laws of physics. Especially
China, where the movie earned 164 million of those dollars.
Is xXx 4 necessary? No, not in any way
imaginable. But you know what? That’s not going to stop me from watching the
crap out of whatever nonsense they splash across the big screen.
I maintain my theory that Return of Xander
Cage came about as a series of escalating dares. You can practically
see the filmmakers sitting around, doing shots, trying to top each other with
whatever insane stunt they can come up with off the top of their head. I just
picture producers yelling, “I bet you can’t make a dude ski through the jungle,”
and the director screaming back, “Oh yeah? Watch me, mother fucker!”
So yes, in my head, xXx 3 was birthed in
something akin to a macho, testosterone and tequila fueled writing workshop.
And no, I don’t want anyone to tell me otherwise and crush that dream. My only
hope is that xXx 4, whatever it’s called and whatever loose
narrative it strings together, comes close to that level of mayhem. So long as
it’s within spitting distance, I’ll be happy.
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