Early on in
director Antoine Fuqua’s actioner “Olympus Has Fallen,” disgraced secret
service agent Mike Banning’s (Gerard Butler) wife makes him a thick, milky
smoothie for breakfast. This particular morning drink serves as an effective
metaphor for the entire film, which is like the producers threw “Die Hard” into
a blender with “Under Siege,” hit puree, and projected the resultant lumpy goo
onto a movie screen. I don’t even mean this as hyperbole. Going through
“Olympus Has Fallen” you can label each scene as straight up lifted from one of
those iconic films. The movie is a gross, lumpy action smoothie.
After Banning
lets the First Lady die in a tragic winter traffic accident, he’s reassigned to
a desk job, though he wants nothing more than the chance to get back in the
Presidential protection saddle. He gets his moment when an uppity North Korean
terrorist cell takes over the Whitehouse and kidnaps the Commander in Chief,
President Asher (Aaron Eckhart). Because he’s badass, and the only guy left alive
after the invasion, Banning gets the opportunity to save the day.
This basic
premise—one guy alone in a building against a slew of heavily armed international
baddies—is pure “Die Hard.” And lets be honest, “Under Siege” is really “Die
Hard” on a boat. The scenes where Banning talks to a roomful of government
officials and military advisors, however, are 100% “Under Siege.” Much like
Steven Seagal running around a battleship, Banning also has to look after an
innocent. Instead of a stripper, in this scenario it’s the president’s son, who
has a weirdly close relationship with his former bodyguard—you expect the boy
to call Banning “uncle Mike” at any moment. A stripper would have been way more
fun.
Borrowing
from earlier movies like this would be well and fine and good—after all, “Die
Hard” and “Under Siege” are two of my favorite action movies of all time—if
only everything else about “Olympus Has Fallen” wasn’t half-assed. The action
is choppy and jumbled, and while there are a handful of solid moments, most of
the hand-to-hand combat are shot from the waist up and so over edited that you
have no idea what’s going on. It’s like punch, edit, reaction, edit, kick,
edit, counter, edit, punch, edit, and on and on. Maybe I’m asking too much, but
I miss the days when a fight scene actually looked like people fighting instead
of a cobbled together slap fight.
And even if the
action wasn’t subpar, the writing would still be lazy as shit. The script feels
like writers Creighton Rothenberger and Katrin Benedikt got their hands on one
of those “Idiot’s Guide to…” books about screenwriting and went for it. Early
in “Olympus Has Fallen” the film is crammed with obvious attempts to exploit
your memories of 9/11. A plane flying into the Washington Monument looks eerily
similar to footage of the Twin Towers that day, and is heavy-handed emotional
blackmail in lieu of actually doing the work to make you care about anything on
screen. You just might want to slap the people responsible. And surely I won’t
be the only one to notice the irony of a rah-rah, flag-waving patriotic
movie—the first and last thing you see are poorly rendered
CGI American flags—starring a guy from Scotland, right?
Keeping in
the theme of not actually putting any thought into the script, “Olympus” is
fond of writing things on screen so they don’t have waste any effort creating
characters or telling you where you are. For example, hey, there’s Morgan
Freeman, I wonder what he’s doing here. Oh, look, if you can read, now you know
that he’s the Speaker of the House, and no one had to worry about how to
introduce him. With all of this free time, they get to concentrate on giving
Banning more witty one-liners like, “I’m going to stick my knife through your
brain.” And of course there’s a scene between the obligatory treacherous
turncoat and Banning, the “I didn’t tell you that…” moment, where he
knows this guy is a dick.
This is
really a case of good actors doing absolutely nothing with very little to start
out with. Freeman, Butler, and Eckhart sleepwalk through their roles. Melissa
Leo’s performance is mostly overwrought writhing and gurgling sounds, Robert
Forster is pointless, and Rick Yune’s villain is boring. You can’t help but
think that everyone involved—from the cast and crew all the way up through the
studio—is out for a quick payday so they can go on about their lives. No one
strained themselves on this movie, and no one really seems to be trying. “Olympus
Has Fallen” is an easy movie that just plopped out of the studio and isn’t
particularly worth paying attention to.
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